Helen

Last week Helen left her home of 60 years against her will for a nursing home. She is probably getting better care than she was at home at age 97, but the impact on our community is significant. There is a void where once there was a bright, red-headed firecracker who was our icon.

Helen was part of the scenery. Every night from 4 to 6 she could be found sitting in her driveway with her best friend Lila (weather permitting). Sometimes they would hold court until late in the evening when there was a willing group of neighbors and plenty of wine to keep the party going.

Helen was a trailblazer. In the 1960s she became the head of the bank examiners for the state of Mississippi – a professional woman in an era that had few women to claim that title. 

She was an inspiration to all. Helen attended every neighborhood meeting and her watchful eye ensured that we would never give up fighting for our community. Truly a member of the greatest generation, she never viewed service as a sacrifice, but as a joy. She loved working on the bake sales, pig roast and anything else to help weave together our community and keep us strong and vibrant.

At neighborhood pub parties, the Fourth of July parade or the annual New Year’s Day tree burn, she was the first to arrive and reluctant to leave. The community was hers – her pride and joy – and she loved to celebrate it. 

While she was of a generation that many would consider “old school,” she was anything but. She changed with the times, never holding judgement against anyone. A close friend was our neighborhood Methodist church gay pastor who left the clergy to become the state’s Human Rights Campaign director.

Helen was not afraid of death and embraced the idea of leaving this world to rejoin her beloved husband Manny, but she never embraced leaving her home and her friends who had been such an important part of her life. 

We mourn her absence in our community deeply and painfully. While we will see her in her new surroundings, we will share in this sorrow. Helen is supposed to be ending her days on her street in our community with a big party send off.

No one has ever given us the sense of place and commitment like Helen. If we examine the reasons we have invested our time and money in the community to make it better, Helen floats to the top of the list. 

There were times that our work, family or other things were a larger priority than our friendship with her. But, none of those things affected the deep bond we shared. In the last few months that she was living in her home, we clung to every moment. It was as if years of our connection were compressed into a single moment. 

It is hard to write a tribute to someone who has been such a huge part of our life. Whatever we write will never capture her laugh, her smile, her “glasses of wine,” and her undying loyalty to her friends, her church and her neighborhood. We love you dearly Helen. You made the world a better place. We love you and we miss you.

Sincerely,

Your neighborhood.